How to be a Good Wife

Image Credit: epSos.de 

Being a Better Wife
Sometimes I read sites or blogs that tell you how to be a better wife. Unfortunately for my husband those sites have the opposite effect on me. It seems as if a lot of well meaning people pull bits and pieces from the Bible to tell us what it looks like to be a good wife, but they rarely tell you to take care of yourself first. 


For example, I was reading Philippians this morning. Phil 2:3 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. " I've seen that passage pulled into blog posts to support what the person writes about how to be a better wife. If you continue reading Philippians, verse 2:4 says "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."


The Bible ASSUMES that we'll take care of ourselves. In real life, I don't see that happening very often...I see burned out, exhausted women who are TIRED. So tired that they can't even begin to think of blessing themselves with some quiet time. How can we change this?


Keep the End in Mind
Jesus died on the cross for ME...miraculously three days later He rose from the dead. Did you catch that? He died on the cross for ME.


Yes, He died for all of us, but do you ever look in the mirror and make John 3:16 a personal message to yourself? 

"For God so loved _______ {insert your name here} that He gave His one and only Son...because _________ {insert your name here} believes in Him she shall not perish, but have eternal life."

He did that for me....He did that for you. YOU COME FIRST. He created you before He created your marriage, before He gave you a family....YOU COME FIRST. What does this look like in "real life".


Real Life
You need to find time by yourself - nobody is going to give you this time, you have to take it. Right now it might mean 5 minutes alone, hopefully in the future it will be a lot more time than that.


You need to have time to shut off your brain and be thankful for all God has done for you. It might mean reading your Bible - I'm not talking about speed reading your Bible in a year, I'm talking about reading the one sentence over and over that keeps jumping out at you. If you allow yourself to have this time you will be blessed. Once you are blessed, you can't help but pour out that love on others. 


How does this translate to being a better wife? 


You'll have the energy to think about your spouse in a positive light. Today I was reading TheGenerousWife. Here is a snippet of what she wrote:

"For the most part, there is time to bless others and still have your needs met.  It is not an either/or situation."

I used to feel soooo guilty for putting myself first. After I studied the Bible (not other self help books) I realized that for a lot of women it's natural to put others first...it's NOT natural to take care of yourself.

Now that I put myself first,

my marriage is much stronger 

than it ever has been.