Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tightwad Gazette Tip

My husband is a smart man. Unfortunately, all too often I forget that. I think it's part of my controlling nature....I ask for his opinion, but then I don't really listen to the answer. Yesterday I was trying to figure out what size of a shirt I should get my son. He knew what size he would get in a matter of seconds. I wrestled with it, thinking of every situation that my son would wear the shirt and spent hours on the "problem". I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get the point. Sometimes I just need to stop and listen to the guy. I think that's one of the best ways to show him that I love him...by listening to him, AKA respecting him.

This tip comes to you from The Complete Tightwad Gazette. On Page 536, Amy D. talks about "Three Steps to a Frito-Free Child." It's a great article about basic parenting.

My son has standardized tests this week Monday-Wednesday. The teachers are providing pancakes and french toast for them. The kids can bring in their own special drinks or buy milk and/or orange juice. I had decided that he shouldn't have any kind of drink (can't have milk because of an intolerance) because of the amount of sugar carbs being served by the teachers. I was thinking he might have a blood sugar issue if he had too much sugar. When I mentioned it to my husband, he reminded me that he doesn't have the same blood sugar issues that our daughter and I have so it'd be fine for him to have some orange juice.

However, he was wondering WHY he needed to have a special drink when we normally just drink water at home. Good point - one I hadn't thought of. I decided that if he wanted to have a drink then he could earn it.

Please note that this is NOT about the $.25 it costs to buy the drink.

It's the principle of working for what you want, not what you need. I certainly wouldn't have him work so he could drink water. He decided that he didn't want to do a small job to earn the money, nor did he want to spend his allowance buying a drink.

Sometimes I feel sorry for my kids. They are SO deprived COMPARED to other kids at their school.
  • They don't get to go on "real family vacations".
  • They don't have a "real" cell phone.
  • They have to buy junk food at ball games when other kids get whatever they want.
  • They don't have a t.v. in their room, an IPOD nano (?), the latest video games
  • They don't have a lot of clothes.
  • Etc.
When I feel sorry for my kids, that is when I am failing as a parent. They are so very rich compared to the rest of the world. They have no health issues, they are never hungry, they have a mom to run them around and come to every single activity that they have, they have a dad that plays with them and teaches them constantly, etc. When I feel sorry for them I parent them WAY different than when I realize how blessed they are. Anyone else struggle with being different or is it just me?
at

4 comments:

  1. Our children are the same way. But the key is, to never make them feel deprived. I grew up extremely poor. I never realized we were poor until we moved from our rural Kentucky to Florida and the girls at my new high school told me right away how POOR I was. My joke I have today was I thought everyone got some government cheese! :)
    But the point is no one in my family or community ever made us feel poor because we were all in it together. I try to raise my children the same way.
    Most of the things my children go without is not out of lack of money, but our refusal to be wasteful. When the parent has the right attitude, the kids will follow. :)

    ReplyDelete

  2. This was a great post. I struggle with being different too. We live in a great subdivision and it has been difficult for my teen daughter to not compare herself with the rest of her school or the rest of her friends. Like previous posted said my daughters attitude is that she doesnt want to be wasteful and she has been given options and made the choice for herself. It was not forced upon her. I try to teach my children the difference between wants and needs and when they are grown up or teenagers they will be grateful for it. (i hope :) )) Thank you so much for the post. I have been reading your blog for over two months now and I really appreciate you thoughts and comments.

    ReplyDelete

  3. I absolutely love this! I remember being criticized because we started charging our older kids (7 and 8 at the time)a quarter from their $4 allowance if they didn't make their bed. I was told it wasn't right to take their allowance. The way we saw it, the allowance was a tool to teach them responsibility with money. Their two responsibilities at that age were to put their own dishes in the dishwasher and to make their beds. If they didn't, they had to pay the maid a quarter. They would still have a $.50 left at the end of the week even if they did nothing. It's not any different than me having to pay the pizza delivery guy if I choose not to cook dinner. I no longer felt resentment when I had to make their beds. Half the time they would bring me the quarter before they left for school. I just added it to my "something fun for Mom fund"!

    ReplyDelete

  4. Michele - you are totally right about parents having the right attitude.

    I grew up fairy poor as well, but I had NO clue! Unfortunately we've chosen to live in an area where there are a lot of seemingly wealthy people.

    Anon - my daughter has said a few times..."I hope my friends find wealthy spouses or decide to get high paying jobs." Thanks for reading!

    Cricketcts - I love it!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)